Monday Humor KZD9SA9KYWFG

Bosses & Marriage 

1. Smith goes to see his supervisor in the front office. “Boss,” he says, “we’re doing some heavy house-cleaning at home tomorrow, and my wife needs me to help with the attic and the garage, moving and hauling stuff.”

“We’re short-handed, Smith,” the boss replies. “I can’t give you the day off.”
“Thanks, boss,” says Smith, “I knew I could count on you!”

2. The boss had listened in sympathetic silence as Mario went through the reasons why he needed, and felt he deserved, a raise. Then, with a compassionate smile, the CEO patted the young man on the shoulder. “Yes, Mario,” he said kindly, “I know you can’t get married on the salary I’m paying you… and some day you’ll thank me for it

Prison Vs. The Office

IN PRISON…you spend the majority of your time in an 8×10 cell.
AT WORK…you spend most of your time in a 6×8 cubicle.

IN PRISON…you get three meals a day.
AT WORK…you only get a break for one meal and you have to pay for it.

IN PRISON…you get time off for good behavior.
AT WORK…you get rewarded for good behavior with more work.

IN PRISON…a guard locks and unlocks all the doors for you.
AT WORK…you must carry around a security card and unlock and open all the doors yourself.

IN PRISON…you can watch TV and play games.
AT WORK…you get fired for watching TV and playing games.

IN PRISON…you get your own toilet.
AT WORK…you have to share.

IN PRISON…they allow your family and friends to visit.
AT WORK…you cannot even speak to your family and friends.

IN PRISON…all expenses are paid by taxpayers with no work required.
AT WORK…you get to pay all the expenses to go to work and then they deduct taxes from your salary to pay for prisoners.

IN PRISON…you spend most of your life looking through bars from the inside wanting to get out.
AT WORK…you spend most of your time wanting to get out and go inside bars.

IN PRISON…there are wardens who are often sadistic.
AT WORK…they are called managers.

Have a great week ahead folks!

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